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Jun 20 2018

Celebrating The Modern Dad

By Meta Careers
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"Having kids does change how you think about the world in a pretty dramatic way. I used to have meetings that ran really late, but now I make sure that three times a week, I'm home to give baths. The thing that I'm most proud of and the thing that brings me the most happiness, is my family. " - Mark Zuckerberg
We asked some of our Facebook dads on what it's like to be a father and how they have found support working at Facebook. Here's what they shared!

Ido, dad to a four-year old son

Software Engineer, Facebook London

What's the best thing about fatherhood, and what's the worst?

The best thing is seeing the joy my son gets from simple things - it puts life into perspective when I see how much he enjoys getting a Paw Patrol custom. The worst is of course time - I have a lot less time alone with my wife, less time to do things that I love like hiking, going out with my friends, going to the gym and so on.

Are you the "fun parent" or the strict one?

I’m probably the “fun parent”, I think my son knows I’m likely to be easier to take advantage of!

How would you say parenting duties are divided between you and your partner?

At home, I stick to being an engineer - my wife does most of the planning and I’m in charge of the execution. For example if we decide that our son needs to stop using diapers, she’d pick the timing and research on the right method to do it, while I’d go to Amazon and buy the potty. Apart from that, we each try to stick to what we're good at - for example, I always make breakfast, and my wife will always pack our luggage whenever we travel.

Can you share how Facebook has supported you in managing your work and life, so that you can deliver the greatest impact in both your professional and personal commitments?

I think being a dad does make me better at ruthless prioritization, relying more on my colleagues, and thinking all the time on how I can make the best use of my time. Before becoming a dad, I’d just do everything, and now I have to choose the one or two things that are most meaningful. It has also allowed me to have more “impact” as a dad as I'm able to attend school meetings, play dates and other events that are important for my son.

If you've one piece of advice for dads on managing their professional and personal commitments, what would it be?

I’d say get involved. I think there's kind of a circle that starts early in the baby’s life, especially when the mom is breastfeeding. This is when the child is most attached to the mom, and as a dad, it is easy to step back at this moment and let your wife take care of things. I think it's during this period that if you don’t make the effort and spend the time, it will be very hard to build the connection with your baby. Adding to that, I’d say spending a lot of one on one time is important, as it lets you build your own relationship with your child.

Caleb, dad to an eight-month old daughter

APAC Logistics Manager, Infrastructure Operations

What's the best thing about fatherhood, and what's the worst?

The best thing about fatherhood is bonding with my daughter and celebrating our first Father's Day together! She's now eight months old, and as she grows more responsive, my heart melts at every little thing that she does - when she smiles at me, cuddles with me to sleep, wakes up crying at night, and (randomly for now) says "Papa Papa"! I'm also constantly filled with amazement at the creation of this little human being who looks and smiles like me.
The worst thing about fatherhood is the lack of sleep. My wife used to take care of the night feeds when she was on maternity leave, and now that it's my turn, I fully agree when my wife says that six hours of continuous sleep is a great luxury to be immensely grateful for!

Modern Dad - what does that mean to you?

It means being an active partner together with my wife in taking care of our baby and the household. Other than bonding and playing with our baby, it means doing practical things such as washing bottles and pumps, changing diapers, feeding and bathing the baby, helping to cook and clean, and making sure that there's always food and baby supplies in the house. These are "duties" that may traditionally be seen to be within the ambit of the mother but I believe that a modern "involved" dad makes all the difference in showing love to the family and raising my daughter! Having a daughter has also allowed me to clearly see the societal gender bias against women, and this guides my wife and I on how to raise her.

As a new dad, can you share how Facebook has supported you in managing your work and life, so that you can deliver the greatest impact in both your professional and personal commitments?

I really appreciate the four-month paternity leave that I can take on a flexible basis. Underpinning this is the trust that I have with my manager, which allows me time with my daughter and family, while giving me the ability to be there for the team when necessary. I also appreciate the support that I have from my colleagues in covering for me and ensuring that nothing falls through the cracks when I'm not around.

If you have one piece of advice for dads on managing their professional and personal commitments, what would it be?

I'm grateful to be working at a company that enables me to focus on the work I love doing by supporting me in managing my work and life. Not sure if this is sound advice, but I feel that there isn't a need to differentiate between work and life, as work is a part of "life". Set non-negotiables for the professional and personal parts of your life, and be mindful of the trade-offs between these parts.

Meet Finbarr from our Dublin office and hear why he’s grateful to be a parent at Facebook

We're Hiring!

Whether your background is in engineering, product, research, marketing or finance, Facebook has many opportunities for people with families. We work hard to make it easier and give you an extra hand to make sure you and your family feel cared for at every stage of life. Click here to explore the different teams and roles in our offices around the world!

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